An Introspection

It's been approximately a month since I left home for London. I've detached myself from all possible communication to attest my perseverance and resilience. I admit it has been tough withstanding this utter isolation but it is a necessitous imprisonment as I believe this forthcoming 10 months will unearth my deepest impulses. I could not determine whether what I felt was genuinely true, neither can I foresee it now.But from what I can interpret, the surface of my thoughts are scattered with plain images of her. Even scant memories that were only caught by limited glances resided in my dreams as vestige. I have attempted several times and on numerous occasions to abate my thoughts of her by meeting different female colleagues. But much to my ambivalence, all my effort has been in dire straits. It is the definite truth that I am still in love with her despite the unrequited throwback. The inevitable rejection that stammered my hopes back in late December has not dented, but ironically, reinforced my fortitude to return home with a missionary zeal. I am adamant at this point I have no intention of surrendering my greatest passion. I hope time and fate will bind with my utmost request. I won't give up.

the blue ocean,

i go to,

the echoing wave,

sounding so melodious,

I sleep within it,

into the deepest surface of it,

my heart sank,

in,

the blue ocean,

i go to,

but i think,

i am restful,

the ocean's lullaby,

shackled,

my thoughts of,

inhaling,

I cannot escape,

the blue ocean,

i go to,

But i am subsiding,

time and air,

does not want,

my heart,

in the,

blue ocean,

i go to,

i do not find a lullaby,

in time and air,

unlike the,

deepest surface,

of the blue ocean

this lullaby,

will consume,

my heart,

but i will keep,

going to,

that blue ocean,

everyday,

for,

a blue ocean,

like this,

in particularly,

you,

is what,

i go to everyday,

even if there is no,

hope,

for me to,

ascend,

from the deepest surface,

of suffocation